Scrubs

I have yet to find a pair of scrubs that I like on myself....

There is the constant battle between 'what fits' and 'what looks good'.

I personally do not like the design of scrubs for women. The scrubs that like to do this overlapping half tunic V-neck thing, others that half lace and draw strings to tighten up your tummy.

What a sexy nurse you are!

Of course the creators of these designs fail to consider that we all don't want to look this way.

The most obnoxious scrubs I have ever seen are the ones with designs on them, floral prints, care bears, Betty Boop among the other countless number of cartoon character prints out there.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the people who dress this way. I have a hard enough time convincing people I am not a nursing student fresh out of high school. I do not need anything to make me look younger.

In fact, I bought some glasses to wear to work to make me look older and smarter. It is amazing what taking off your contacts and placing frames on your face can do to your perceived competence!

On the other hand, it is hard to be professional when a simple pair of scrubs are huge!! Even an extra small drowns me.

The only pair of scrubs that really fit me are my Halloween scrubs, and I am for sure not wearing those all year round.

"Look at that freak wearing the Gothic looking scrubs?" the people would point and laugh at me for sure.

I am sure that won't pass.

A big "No Go."

So I am on this endless search for professional looking scrubs that are in my size!

shocked and speechless

"I have been shooting up all day," The cracked out middle aged woman says to Jasmine, "so don't use that arm!"

"Let her do her job!" One of the two police officers sitting in the chairs next to the stretcher yells in an authoratitive tone to the woman.

"What arm do you want me to use?" Jasmine Vanilla asks the messed up patient as she gathered up her supplies to start an IV line.

"I don't know... I have been shooting up in both of them all day," she laughs as she pulls up her sleeves.

Jasmine wondered how someone could administer IV injections of crack, cocaine, heroin or *god knows what* to themselves.

Jasmine uncapped the 20 gauge needle as she searched for a vein, expecting the worst but hoping for the best. She flashed back to a time when she had "The Crack Head" patient, seven foot tall African American male with veins as thick as electrical wire and just as hard, sediments of additives hardening his venous system. A literal hard reminder of the effects of illegal substances.

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"We just can't get a line in," Jasmine informed the Doctor.

"He has been stuck twice by each nurse here with no luck," the charge nurse informed the M.D. at the bedside of the said patient.

"But his veins look great," she said wondering how a team of nursing professionals could fail such a seemingly easy task.

"Yes, but they are as hard as rocks," Jasmine said with conviction, wondering how many cool points she lost for what seemed like a piece of cake.

"Sir, do you shoot up?" The doctor asks the patient.

"No, never," the patient lied as he readjusted himself on the stretcher which converted to a torture rack after being stuck about twenty times.

"I guess I will have to do a central line," the MD told the nurses as she walked out of the room and closed the door to the patient's room, "get the consent forms."

"Yes, Ma'am," Jasmine Vanilla said and turned to the charge nurse, "that guy is lying about the drugs huh?"

"Oh yeah." The charge nurse replied and walked away. "I wonder how he shoots up now, probably between his toes no doubt."

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Jasmine Vanilla feared that she would have trouble getting an IV into this drug abuser, the same way she had trouble with her former patient. She wondered if he still shoots up between his toes....or if he is even still alive.

The police officers watched as Jasmine held the needle ready to stick. Jasmine came to the conclusion that ER nurses and police officers have the same passion for danger, the unruly, adrenaline, and the unpredictable.

Jasmine half expected to get punched in the face by the out of control crack whore if she missed her target vein. The officers shifted their weight to the balls of their feet as they barely held onto the edge of their seats.

The patient began to smile and laugh, an unusual response from someone about to get poked by a sharp object.

As the initial poke penetrated the surface of this woman's bruised skin a groan erupted and she began to quiver. Jasmine being stuck in concentration advanced the catheter removed the needle, attached the microclave and flushed the vein out with normal saline.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! Oh my God!!" The woman yelled out a pleasurable sigh and began to shake.

"Did she just have an orgasm?" one of the police officer's asks the other.

"I think that she did," the police officer laughed, "there must have been some residual powder in that vein."

Jasmine just then realized what she had done....

Gave her patient an orgasm.

Creepy.....

She blushed and remained silent... professional.

"Did you just have an orgasm?" the police officer asked the woman.

"I forgot to tell you," she laughed and sighed, "I like needles, I am kind of a masochist, that and their must have been drugs left in that vein."

Jasmine Vanilla couldn't believe what had just occurred. She left the room completely shocked and speechless.

She tried to keep it to herself but the news spread fast as the police officers began to tell the other nurses.

"Jasmine gave her patient an orgasm!"

The Last Thing You Lose Is Your Pride

"Who wants to start an IV?" I asked a couple of EMS students. The guys looked at each other with a smirk, they would rather be standing around doing nothing then doing their clinical hours.

I was a little surprised that they acted so unmotivated, surely they were not all experts in starting saline locks already.

The youngest guy in the group, who did not look older then 20 years old stepped forward, "I will do it."

The other guys whom appeared to be in their mid thirties looked at each other and laughed smugly, they did not like the idea of a young woman telling them what to do.

"So how old are you anyway?" all my patients asked me, they all seemed so astonished when I told them my true age, "you don't look older than 23," they would state.

No wonder people didn't take me seriously....

Kevin, was a motivated EMS student who as I could tell by looking at him, enjoyed starting IVs as much as I did.

There is just something about sticking someone with a sharp needle, directly accessing their veins that seemed like an artful skill to me.

Most people would call me sick.

Not the people who work in the ER, they all understand. "I don't want to torture you anymore" actually means, "I am going to get someone else to come and torture you for a little bit."

That is in the frequent cases where we get a patient who apparently has no veins anywhere that we can access. They are either too small, too fragile, too deep, or they roll to much, or in some cases the patient is a habitual IV drug abuser and all their veins are hardened into electrical wire. It is almost like they are harder then the needle.

Thank goodness not tonight. Kevin, the young EMS guy, had some really easy sticks. I was happy to give him the opportunity to practice.

I was not impressed with the laziness of the other students. Especially when I could have used some help later in the night.

An ambulance rolled in my room, a guy in shackles and chains, completely drunk screaming out obscenities and lashing out in violent spurts. I assessed the patient and started taking vital signs.

I looked out the door and three EMS students, the ones that have repeatedly refused to embrace the opportunities I presented to them stared in the room. They stared as I handled the drunk man by my skinny little self.

I wondered what their deal was, young Kevin wasn't around or else he would have been in the room bright eyed desperately seeking new experience. It is not that I didn't think I could handle the situation, I have dealt with worse situations in the ER, this was nothing.

I was surprised that these middle aged, EMS students were not actively engaging in such an opportunity to give medical treatment to the drunk and disorderly.

They walked away, all three able bodied students from the situation.

One person once told me, "the last thing you lose is your pride."

Think about it..