*Sigh*

My day off, a relaxing Monday.

I was pumped for the day, ready to go. A great day to be alive.

I woke up and made some Foldgers Gourmet Coffee (Carmel Drizzle)and drank it while watching the news.

'What a wonderful day,' I thought to myself.

After that I went tanning in the tanning bed at my apartment and then washed my car, there again at the car wash at my apartment. A convenience I am so very grateful for.

I then dedicated the day to relaxing, watching television, a pleasure I rarely get to partake in. I remembered to do my crunches during commercial breaks, so I can fulfill my goals of doing hundreds of crunches a day to get the abs of my dreams.

It's funny what boredom can do to you....

After a few hours of doing this I started to feel lonely and bored. The recipe for disaster for me.

I think too much...

As the day turned into night I was plagued with thoughts of life in general, the purpose, meaning and then I was forced to look at my life.

Most people my age have a spouse or significant other.

So what is wrong with me?

I was made to be with someone. I possess all of the characteristics and qualities congruent with someone who should not be single.

Of course I am perfectly fine on my own, don't get me wrong, 'wanting' someone and 'needing' someone are completely different. For example, I am not just going to go out there and meet just anyone and hook up, a desperate attempt to fill the void.

Pathetic.

I am much more selective then that, just ask the girls I have gone out with and refused to kiss despite their attempts.

My lips don't kiss just anyone. Not anymore.

I finally have my life together, "Jasmine, you are a catch, great job, beautiful, smart and funny" Princessa told me over facebook chat, "you will find someone."

Everyone you can imagine is online at night. 27 friends on facebook chat.

"You deserve someone great," said my old high school friend, "you are going to find her someday."

I talked to my brother as well, but not about this. A welcomed distraction from the curious desire to know how I am still single.

When I am busy I don't have time to obsess about this. Maybe this is why I work so much.

With every ying there is a yang. Among all my exes, only one of them actively tries to make me feel small and insignificant. I hate talking to her most of the time and I wonder when she will cease from being so condescending and belittling. I suppose this is part of the reason I am single, dating such people.

I wonder why I even talk to her anymore....Friendship? Lesbians love to stay friends with their exes for some odd reason.

I admit not all of the girls I have dated are bad, some I am very good friends with and I don't even consider them as exes anymore. Like it was so long ago it doesn't even matter that we dated at one point.

When I fall in love, it will be completely or I will never fall in love.... My favorite song ever by Celine Dion.

*Sigh*